What is trust? In answering this question fully and with clear vision there is freedom... freedom from the pain of betrayal. This is because, once you see trust and betrayal clearly, they will no longer have power over you.
What is trust? It seems to be such a fragile thing that can so easily be broken. A single out-of-place deed can toss trust right out the window. And, when trust is broken, pangs of fear and pain and doubt set in.
What is trust? It is an emotional illusion created by an image in our mind. It is the outcome of a lie that we tell ourselves about those we supposedly trust.
"How could she do that?!" "I never expected he would steal from me... why did he?" "He broke his promise... how can I trust him?" These are the questions of a mind suffering from the illusion of trust. Each of these questions and all the similar varieties are meaningless if you want to understand what trust is. Indeed, focusing on these questions drives you further into the darkness of the illusion of trust.
When you trust someone, what are you actually doing? Haven't you built an image of the person that you take comfort in? Think of it... perhaps you observe someone and see behavior that you consider trustworthy. When you do, you store the memory of it away for future reference. Or, perhaps a trusted friend gives you words that you use to build an image of trustworthiness in another. In any case, aren't you always working from an image of the person that you trust? Aren't you always working from an accumulation of knowledge about another? Is it possible for you to trust someone if you have no knowledge of them? Of course not...
If you look closely, this is clear isn't it? What happens when someone betrays your trust? They've simply done something that doesn't match the image that you have of them. Perhaps it's a close friend that cheats you in a business dealing... or maybe it's a spouse that sleeps around on you... it may even be as simple as a catching someone in a lie. The break in trust has the same cause each time, doesn't it? The person has acted in a way that you didn't expect. They acted in a way that doesn't match the image you have of them.
When this happens, don't you experience pain? Don't you experience anger or frustration or unhappiness? Don't you want the person who betrayed you to match your image? You try mightily to make the person match your image, don't you? Why? Why do you give the image so much power over your emotions? Is it because you never realized that you trusted an image and not the person at all?
Let's be clear. You're trusting an image of the person, not the person at all. You know, you cannot trust a person. All you can do is pretend to trust the image of a person. You've fooled yourself into believing that the image is the person and have lost sight of the person altogether This is a liberating truth because once you see it then you can choose to drop your belief in the image as reality. If you see the image clearly then you see that it cannot hold sway over you without your consent and belief.
People will act the way they act, regardless of your image of them. Reality is what it is... your image be damned. Knowing this, you will see how you torture yourself when someone doesn't match your image of them. Oh, how you love to torture yourself with hurt feelings when someone doesn't live up to your expectations of them. You love to play the victim.
But, you know, you don't have to play the victim. You don't have to believe the image. How can you stop believing in the image? Simply by seeing the image for what it is and seeing the reality of the person that you've built the image around. That person whom you've mistaken for the image is right in front of you. All you have to do is open your eyes and see them. Drop the image for the stinking garbage pile that it is and look at the person here and now.
Once you see them you will never be fooled by the illusion of trust again.
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