The Illusion of Love

What is love?  Have you ever given that question much attention?  Have you taken time to really go deeply into your image of love?  Take some time now and let's use our awareness to penetrate to the very core of what love is.  If you do this, you may see something startling about love.  If you do this, you will have the opportunity to see love for what it really is.

It will help you a great deal to think of someone that you love as we go into this.  Keep your memory of the person you love in mind as you read and answer the coming questions.

Is love compassion?  It seems that many people see that compassion comes from love.  Yet, are love and compassion the same thing?  When you are compassionate towards someone, isn't it that you feel sorry for them?  Isn't it that you see something in them or their behavior that is less than perfect by your reckoning?  So, compassion seems to come from the idea of superiority.  You compare yourself to the other and see in them something that you have already overcome.  So you feel bad for them and compassion arises.  Clearly this isn't love.  Compassion isn't love.

Is love desire?  It seems that many people say "I love you" when desire is in their hearts.  Yet, are love and desire the same thing?  When you desire someone, isn't it because you get some kind of good feeling from them?  You interact with your desired person and have all manner of good feelings within your mind and body.  Aren't these good feelings caused by the object of your desire meeting your image of how they should be?  "He's so smart."  "She's so hot."  "He takes an interest in my day."  "She loves to give me sex."  "He makes a good living."  "She cooks really well."  Aren't these statements of desire?  Don't these kind of statements tell you that the object of your desire is simply meeting your expectations?  What happens when your expectations change?  What happens when the object of your desire changes and no longer meets your expectations?  Doesn't your desire die then?  Something that is so fleeting and tempermental isn't love.  Clearly love isn't desire.

Is love the feeling of being desired?  Is love the feeling of being wanted and appreciated?  Surely when you are loved you feel desired, wanted and appreciated.  Yet, aren't these feelings just another form of desire itself?  You have an expectation in your mind telling you that to be loved you must be desired... that you must be wanted... that you must be appreciated.  When someone meets those expectations, you feel loved.  When they don't you feel rejected.  Clearly, this is just another form of desire.  This isn't love.

Is love the drive to protect and cherish another?  It seems that many people who say "I love you" feel as though they should protect the ones they love.  So, they keep a watchful eye on their beloved and help keep them from danger.  Yet, isn't this also a form of desire?  We become attached to those that give us good feelings.  We come to rely on them for the drug of good feelings that they give us.  What does that tell you about our drive to protect and cherish another?  Isn't it just a matter of us protecting our drug?  Don't we want to keep the other around to make us feel good?  There it is.  Another form of desire.  Clearly, the drive to protect and cherish another is not love.

The deeper you go into the symptoms and behaviors of love, the clearer it becomes that they are not love at all.  The symptoms and behaviors of love are not love at all.  They are conventions.  They are expectations that we have about how those that "love" us should act.  If they act in the ways we expect then they "love" us and we make good feelings in our body.  If they act in ways that we don't expect then they don't "love" us and we make bad feelings in our body.

Clearly, this form of expectation-based love is an illusion of our mind.  It is a result of our upbringing and programming.  It is a construct of The Image that keeps us from seeing love at all.

So, what is love?  Have you found it yet?  Drop your belief in the illusion of love that you have in your mind and you will have the opportunity to see love.

Seeing love.  That's the most beautiful statement about love that I can conceive of.  Because, to love something you must first see it.  How can you love something that you cannot even see?  As we focus on The Image we don't see what is really before us.  In this state what we are loving is not real, it is an illusion of the mind.  So, to see love, you must first see reality.

Once you see reality then you will love.  It is quite effortless and happens automatically.  Love is the result of seeing reality.  Yet, we've confused it with the highs and lows of desire and dependence.  Let me say that again, just in case you missed it: Love is the result of seeing reality.

Do you want to experience this love?  If so, then see.  Put your attention on reality and withdraw it from the illusion of your mind's image.  See clearly how your dependence and desire isn't love at all... it's addiction.  Watch yourself as you interact with your beloved and see the actual truth of this.  One moment you're loving and the next moment you're unloving.  When you're getting your drug then you feel loving.  When you're not getting your drug then you feel unloving.  This is the behavior of an addict, not a lover.

Waking up to love requires just one simple act of seeing.  The love born of this clear sight comes without condition.  It simply is.  You will love regardless of the drug you are getting.

Watch and you will see. 

See and you will understand. 

Understand and you will love.