You may not know this, but pain is a signpost that points to truth. Pain is a gift that shows you something is wrong or out of place somewhere. Physical pain shows you something is wrong with your body. Emotional pain shows you something is wrong with your thinking.
This is obvious for physical pain, isn't it? The burn that comes from a hot stove shows you clearly that your hand is in the wrong place, doesn't it? The pain draws your complete attention and you move quickly to change the placement of your hand. When you stub your toe, isn't it clear that your foot was in the wrong place? The pain draws your complete attention and you remember to be more careful in the future with your steps.
It takes no great intellect or subtle thinking for you to see the value of physical pain. Why then, is it so difficult for you to see the value of emotional pain? You know, I can think of many reasons why seeing the gift of emotional pain is so difficult...
The first reason is that you don't understand the cause of emotional pain. What is the cause? Remember a time that you were emotionally hurt -- perhaps by an unkind word or dastardly deed. Wasn't this pain caused by a conflict of your thinking with reality? You didn't like what was said or you didn't want what was done and so the pain arose. Isn't it clear that your disagreement with reality is the first cause of this pain?
The second reason is that you fear emotional pain and, because of that fear, you cannot stand to look at it. When emotional pain arises, you don't observe it. And, since you don't observe it, you cannot see its root in your thinking. The conflict is there and you cannot see it because of your fear. You flinch. You think of other things. You occupy yourself with work or drugs or entertainment. This lack of looking at your pain as it occurs is a large barrier to you seeing its value.
The third reason is that you do not learn from your emotional pain. You are moved by your pain to try and change the world around you -- but you don't learn any real lessons from it. You try mightily to direct your pain at others... lashing out at them in the hopes that they will change to suit your idea of them. This lashing out never solves the problem though, and so you are doomed to repeat the pattern again.
How many times have you repeated the same pattern that causes your emotional pain? Perhaps you pick the same kind of no-good relationship over and over. Or, perhaps you start the same kind of arguments again and again. It may even be as simple as the negative things you say to yourself when you look in the mirror. Whatever the form of the pattern, like a glutton for punishment, you keep doing the same painful things again and again.
The gift of pain is clear to see if you would but look at it. See clearly the seed of pain that lies in the conflict between your idea of the world and the realtiy of the world. Look unflinchingly at how you avoid pain and at your defeatist strategies to pretend it's not there. Feel your pain, don't avoid it. Observe it fully and understand the thinking that leads you to repeat the painful pattern.
If you do this then you will know at last the value of your pain. You will finally see that your emotional pain is the golden path to truth and understanding. You will finally understand that your pain is a seed of self-discovery and growth that only needs your attention and awareness to flower.